Stardust
by Peregrine Princess
Summary: I'd never dreamed that I'd ever be able to go through with it. Leaving them all behind, I mean. I'd never cared for anyone this much, but it just hurt too much to stay. I've often wondered how they are all doing, but then, I don't really want to know. R/S
1. Prologue

**Well, here's my second story on my new account. The truth is, I'm on a bit of a stand-still on "Prepare to Hate Me," which is pretty lame because I'm only on the second chapter. I'm really not sure why it's so difficult. I think I'll have to watch a few episodes of Teen Titans, and maybe then the writing will come easier to me. Anyway, I felt really bad for making everyone wait, so I went ahead and put this story up. It's actually a remake of one of my older stories. Enjoy.**

**I don't own the Teen Titans or any characters.**

**Teen Titans © DC Comics**

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**Prologue**

_Dearest Friend Raven,_

_I am deeply sorry to leave you all so suddenly and without proper goodbyes. As selfish as what I am about to say may sound, I know that you will understand. I simply cannot bring myself to face you all, simply because it will hurt me all the more. Again, I apologize, and I hope that you will take my apology to heart. I have never felt so guilty and ashamed in all my life on this beautiful planet than I do now._

_I believe you know the reason that I have decided to leave. I know that you must think that I am a coward for doing so, and if you do think that of me, I fully understand. And if you are wondering why I entrusted this letter to you, I only have this to say: Raven, you are my closest friend, and the only one with whom I can fully entrust with my secrets. And although I am far from deserving, I do have a single request. I ask that you do not tell anyone about this letter, especially Robin. I do not wish for him, or anyone, for that matter, to believe that the fault for my departure is his. _

_I promise to return one day. I am unaware, for the moment, of exactly when I shall be coming back. Do not count on my return too soon. I think that it will take me some time to… well, I'm not exactly sure what I hope to accomplish by leaving. I suppose I should start by doing the growing up._

_Thank you, Raven, for all that you have done for me. I have learned so much from you during my time as a Teen Titan. I shall miss all of you, and look forward to the day that we see each other again._

_Until we meet again,  
Starfire_

The stationary was stained with tear drops, and Raven fought hard to keep her own tears from spilling out onto the paper as she read it again. The note had been slipped underneath her door, concealed in a pale lavender envelope. The empath felt almost responsible for her friend's departure; why hadn't she suspected anything? Of all people, she should have been able to feel what Starfire was planning.

Quickly, Raven folded the note and shoved it back into the envelope, trying to suppress the onslaught of emotions that threatened to leak through her façade of indifference. The threw the envelope into the desk of her nightstand and slammed it shut before falling backwards onto her twin-sized bed, closing her eyes as she tried to sort out her thoughts. Why was _she_ the one who felt responsible? Hell, if anyone was at fault, it was—

A soft curse escaped her pale lips as the window cracked, the sharp sound piercing into the silence. The teen's dark gaze traveled toward the drapes as they pulled apart, revealing a spider web of angry lines. With a sigh, Raven closed the curtains and headed out of her room with her hood covering her face. Her lips were a tight line as she headed for the roof, where she knew she wouldn't be bothered. After all, the one person who had ever really bothered to acknowledge her presence was long gone.

She emerged on top of the tower, relieved that none of the other Titans had intercepted her on the way. How long would it be before they realized that Starfire was gone? Raven walked over to the edge of the tower, facing the setting sun, then hovered in her usual cross-legged position and closed her eyes.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" she chanted, trying to clear her mind of her thoughts, which were more morbid than usual. How would the team even get by without her? She continued to chat, her voice tranquil and void of emotion. A tear finally escaped onto the girl's face, travelling down her cheek. Raven reached up and wiped at her damp face with the tips of her fingers, then looked straight at the sun until it finally disappeared below the horizon.

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**I hope someone enjoyed it. I realize that the end is sort of bland, I really just couldn't think of how to end it. I think I could have put a little more effort into this, but it's just a prologue, so… yeah. I'm pretty sure the actual chapters will be a bit longer. Please review. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hey, folks. Once again, I apologize for the late update, I've been ridiculously busy lately. The good news is, I got my permit yesterday. So look out, world. Haha. Well, enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reviewing, everyone. I've decided that at the end of the chapter I'll respond to each of them. I hope you all feel special. :D**

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**Kori**

Earth is certainly a wonderful place, full of beautiful places and beautiful people. Earth is one of the most sheltered, nurturing planets I've been to, not that I'm much of an space traveler. All I'm really saying is, if I hadn't been born on Tamaran, I would be as ignorant as all the other clueless earthlings who have been so protected by their leaders. For one thing, the American government tends to hide information "for the good of the public," which only results in distrust and, of course, ignorance. Earth children are also taught that they can be whatever they want; a model, a football player, a rock star, a princess; only to have the rug pulled right out from under them once they get older and realize that _someone_ has to clear tables and wash dishes for a living. When their childhood has left them so lost and weak, they have no idea how to deal with their present lives.

So it must be a good thing, then, that I have gone through so many hardships.

But I still think, sometimes, how nice it would be to go through life, completely unaware of the things going on around me. The fact that I would no longer have those gruesome memories haunting me day and night seems so inviting, even to the point where I sometimes wish that I had been born an earthling. Perhaps then I would not have to try so hard to fit in.

My name is Kori Anders. I am a princess of the planet Tamaran, and a former member of the Teen Titans. Well, I used to be all of that stuff. Now, I'm just Kori.

Before I decided to quit the Teen Titans, I was known as Starfire. I hadn't realized, before, how ridiculous I was. My sister was right when she told me that Earth had changed me. I was weakened to the point that I couldn't bear to leave completely; in fact, I've lost most of my abilities completely. I left Jump City and, not wanting to be far from my friends, I settled here in New York and gave up my crime fighting ways. Besides, it's not like I could do much without my powers.

I promised Raven that I would go back. I completely meant what I said, but now I can't think of a reason to return. I want to see them so much that it hurts, but I'm afraid of what I'll find once I do. What if they've completely forgotten about me? It has been nearly five years. But the main reason that I'm, well, afraid to face them is the fact that I would rather have them all remember me the way I was before I left. I'm simply not the same person anymore, and I don't mean that in a good way.

Why did I leave in the first place? It's stupid, really. I simply allowed my feelings to get in the way of my duties. But I don't blame myself, I was a lovesick kid. I couldn't understand why Robin was so repelled by the thought of dating _me_ when he didn't seem to have a problem with dating _her_. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for him. I was just incredibly heartbroken for myself.

God. I sound like an idiot.

Well, it's all in the past, now. It was extremely difficult, at first, without my friends, but I eventually got used to living on my own. I get along surprisingly well without my powers, too.

"Susan, why don't you take off? I'll lock up." I called softly, looking up from the table I was wiping down. Susan was one of the first friends I made in my new city, and became one of my closest friends soon after she helped me find a job at a local sports bar. The blond-haired, blue-eyed girl looked up sleepily and smiled.

"You sure?" she asked, her voice much quieter than usual.

"Definitely. Besides, if you stay much longer, I don't doubt that I'll have to drag you out of here unconscious." I offered with a smile. Susan returned the smile and graciously took me up on my offer, clearly eager to get home. She grabbed her beige coat off of the hanger and put it on with a yawn. It had been a busy day, as usual on Friday nights.

"Thanks, Kor. I'll see you tomorrow." Susan sighed and slowly pushed the door open.

"No problem. Take care." I returned my attention to the tables and chairs, silently hoping she would make it home in one piece. It was dangerous for a young woman to be out alone at night, especially on this side of town. I finished the tables quickly and proceeded to put the chairs on top of them so that I could mop up first thing tomorrow. After washing my hands and locking up all the cabinets, I was finally ready to leave. Slipping into my black fleece, I flipped the light switches and locked the entrance.

There weren't many taxis running at three in the morning, but I didn't have to walk more than a block before waving one down. I used to hate the way they smelled; of sweat and lingering cigarette smoke; but I eventually got used to it, like most other things. The ride home was silent and short, both myself and the driver being much too tired for conversation. The yellow car pulled over in front of a modest apartment building, not unique from the others that surrounded it. I thanked the driver with a smile and after paying him with a five-dollar bill, gratefully exited the stuffy vehicle. My apartment isn't much, just your standard box-shaped, red-bricked building with twenty floors.

It was nothing like my old home, Titans Tower. It wasn't filled with high-tech equipment and security systems, or bickering, super-powered teens. It was nearly as tall as the Tower, however, and I sometimes found myself going up to the roof to revel in my fond memories, as well as the not-so-great ones. Of course, the view from this roof had nothing on the view from Titans Tower.

I entered my room, on the seventeenth floor, to find the television running, the pale light of the screen beaming through the dark air. On the couch, my roommate had fallen asleep with one leg strewn over the back of the couch, and an arm hanging to the carpeted floor. I couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous her position was before I grabbed the thin sheet that had been thrown to the floor and turning the television off.

"Kori?" a groggy voice mumbled, and I had to squint through the dark to see my roommate stretching her legs out across the length of the couch.

"Sorry, Clara. Did I wake you?" I asked, quietly.

"No, you're fine. I wasn't asleep." The brunette grunted as she rolled over, obviously with no intention of getting up. I shook my head and folded the sheet in half.

"Sure, you weren't." I retorted sarcastically, handing her the thin blanket.

"Hey, I wasn't." she paused and spread the sheet out over her with a loud sigh. "Thanks. I'm sleeping here tonight."

"Okay, good night." I replied, as if I hadn't already known she wasn't going to get up and walk a whole ten steps to her room.

"Night." She sighed again and closed her eyes as I made my way toward my own room. I was exhausted, and tempted to sleep with my work uniform on, but managed to change into a pair of gray cropped sweats and a loose white t-shirt. I flopped onto my bed and proceeded to furrow into my thick covers before slowly drifting off to sleep.

This is my life now. I got what I wanted; I'm perfectly normal. You can't tell me from any earth-born citizen in the street. A normal twenty-one year old with a normal job and a normal apartment.

It didn't take me long to realize that normal isn't good enough for me.

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**That's all, folks. Until the next chapter, that is. I hope everything was okay… Just kind of setting the stage, so nothing's really happening yet. I'm extremely conflicted on how I should portray Starfire. It's going to be tough, presenting her as a less naïve, "grown up" Starfire without creating a completely different character in the process… well, I do love challenges. Please review! Constructive criticism is encouraged.**

**sparklebluelemon**** – I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for being the first reviewer for this story.**

**Adelsa**** – Glad you liked it, that letter was pretty fun to write. I love Starfire's dialogue. Thanks for reading.**

**Good Graces**** – Hey, thanks. I really enjoy your story. You're a better person than me; you update a lot quicker. Haha. I hope my plot lives up to your expectations.**

**Devu-333**** – Yep, Raven is a fun character. I had to keep myself from going overboard a couple of times, but I think I like how it turned out. Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Raven**

I don't blame her for leaving. Sure, she promised me that she would come back, and it's been nearly five years, but… how could I ever blame her? She was my best friend.

I'm not so good with expression. But there's no hiding it: I miss Starfire. Things never went back to normal after she left. I never expected that they would, but I hoped so. I hoped that I would eventually stop hoping that she would come back, and worrying about her. But she was my best friend, so it only makes sense that I never stopped waiting.

That letter she left, I've read it so many times that I could recite it if I wanted to. At first, I couldn't stop reading it; I just couldn't believe she was gone. She was so strong, and enduring… Even I didn't see it coming. I really should have, and I must be an awful friend not to have suspected it. Don't get me wrong, I knew she was hurting, and I did everything in my power to keep her… I don't know, distracted? But I never imagined that she would leave. And it doesn't make her any weaker. In fact, I think the fact that she left makes her stronger than I ever could be.

"Raven?" Beast Boy's voice pulled me from my thoughts. Actually, we call him Changeling now, but I really miss calling him Beast Boy sometimes. He called out to me again from the other side of the closed door. "Are you okay?"

No one ever comes into my room. I used to let Starfire in, sometimes, and we could just meditate, and sometimes even talk. I could tell that she never talked as much as she wanted to. She was considerate, and by far the most altruistic person I've ever met, always putting others before herself.

"Raven?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I finally responded, but I didn't get up from my position on the bed. I wasn't in the mood to see anyone; I didn't want to be reminded of how everyone had so flawlessly moved on from the loss of our friend. Almost like nothing was missing.

"You haven't come out of your room all day." The same smooth, deep voice sounded from the other side of the door, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

"And?" I got a feeling that he was trying to lure me out of my room. Why?

"I don't know." There is a pause, and for a moment I wonder if he left. No such luck. "I was just wondering if everything was alright."

"I told you, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Okay, what will it take for him to leave me alone? I get up and walk over to my door.

"Yes, I am sure." I answered, and even I can hear the annoyance in my tone. There is a pause.

"Positive?" He added, and the amusement was evident in his voice. I finally gave in and opened my door, glaring at him from beneath my blue hood.

"Okay, what do you want?" I asked, crossing my arms. Changeling takes a step back. He had been leaning against the wall, and we were uncomfortably close when the door opened. I ignored it, waiting for an explanation.

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you. It was kind of hard with a door between us." He motioned between us with his gloved hands.

"You wanted to talk?" I repeated, surprised. Changeling and I didn't talk much, and when we did it didn't usually wasn't serious. Simply put, Changeling hardly ever acted his age.

"Yeah. I know that, you know, since Star left and all…" He trailed off, then quickly changed the direction of his statement. "You know, I just figured you might like some company."

"Yeah? Well…" It was easy for me to hide how upset I felt. Routine, even. "I think I just need to be alone now."

"Okay." Changeling nodded. He was still smiling, and didn't look disappointed. Not to say that he didn't really want to talk to me. It just seemed like he knew what I was going to say. "Well, if you do need to talk, you know where to find me. Good night, Raven."

"Night." I replied, but I couldn't let him go just yet. As he turned to walk away, I stepped out of my room and closed the door behind me. "Wait."

He stopped and turned around, and I detected a glint of curiosity in his forest green eyes. I thought about what I was saying before continuing.

"Do you think she'll come back?" I finally ask, and his eyebrows rose. I'd clearly caught him off guard with my sudden inquiry.

"Starfire?" He asked, although he knew exactly who I was talking about.

"Yeah. Do you think we'll ever see her again?"

"I don't know…" he said quietly, but there was a distant look in his eyes, and I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or to himself. He seemed to snap out of his trance as his smile quickly returned and he nodded. "Yeah, she'll come back."

I blinked. He sounded so certain, so sure that I found it hard to question his resolve. "How do you know?"

"Come on. It's Starfire we're talking about, of course she'll be back." He assured me, and I found myself feeling a lot better. I'd told myself that so many times that I've lost count, but for some reason I believed it when he said it. I cracked the tiniest smile and hit the button on the wall that opened my door.

"Thanks, Garfield." I called him by his birth name, as we often did when no one was around. We still didn't use our 'secret identities' much; it was so hard for us to imagine going back to assuming our normal lives without stirring up too much suspicion. "Good night."

"Good night." He replied, and there was a look on his face that I couldn't quite put my finger on. It didn't seem bad, so after he turned around and started walking away I retreated back into the safety of my dimly-lit room.

I don't think about Starfire all the time. Just some days, I can't help it. And I really wish there was some way that I could let her know that I haven't forgotten her.

I tried not to blame anyone, especially since Starfire herself implied that 'Robin is not to blame' for her leaving, but I stopped caring a long time ago. I don't care what anyone says, but it's his fault.

Nightwing hasn't changed much since she left. As hard-headed as he is, I'm really not surprised. I understand that he didn't purposely drive her away, but that's beside the point; he knew exactly what he was doing. And the worst part is, it could have been prevented. Wait, that isn't the worst part. _This_ is the worst part:

The girl he chose over Starfire chose left him shortly after she left.

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**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Yes, I understand that nothing is happening yet; I'm still plot building. I promise, something will happen in the next chapter. And it will be a bit longer, so don't worry:)**

**Okay, so about this chapter. I'm not so happy with it. The only part of this chapter I really like is the conversation between Raven and Beast Boy, "Changeling." I thought it was cute, even though there were only subtle hints of romance, if any. Still, it's something that you BB/Rae buffs might enjoy. My objective was to shed a bit of light on how the Titans are doing years later, and maybe set the stage for a bit of BB/Rae romance. I'm still trying to decide if I should do that.**

**Anyway, that's chapter two. I hope it was okay. The next chapter will be better, honest. Reviews, please? 8D**

**alexzjohnsonfan23:**** Thanks for the review! Don't worry, all will be revealed soon. Alexz Johnson is cool. :]**

**sparklebluelemon:**** Yep, you'll find out soon enough. And thanks so much for all of your reviews.**

**XxxMidnightFlowerxxX:**** Thanks a lot, I'm glad you enjoyed it.**

**Mrs Maxim de Winter:**** Thanks for the criticism. I actually did that consciously, but I guess I should have dulled it down a bit. Thanks~**

**Random:**** There's definitely more to come. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Haha. Thanks for reviewing both of my stories.**

**Good Graces:**** Thanks. Ha, I'm always looking for errors, too. Actually, I don't look for them I just have a good eye for them even when I'm not looking. Eleven hours of driving? I have about seven right now. I think I'm a pretty good driver, so far. Thanks again for reviewing.**

**Robin6764:**** Mhm, I agree. Thanks for the review, hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**Ill-Love-You-4ever:**** I'm glad you think so. Thanks for reviewing.**

**devu-333:** **Don't worry, the eventful chapters are coming up very soon. Don't worry, I'm already working on the next chapter.**

**Wow, there were a lot of reviews this time. Thanks again, everyone! Let's keep it up.**


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